If you’re visiting our site, chances are you’re either curious about what we do, or you’re not happy with some particular aspect of the sex you’re experiencing. The writing below covers the overarching how of what we do, and is closely linked to our intention which is covered in the about section of the website.
Why would someone want to learn about somatic sexuality? What could be better than Tantra, Swinging or Sex Parties? It is worth sating at this time that if you are fully happy with your sex and sexuality, regardless of your expression, we may have little to offer you. If you’re not happy then we believe, from experience, the answer to the above question is; an expression of sexuality that is authentic and unique to the person that is expressing it. Sounds pretty simple, yet in order to achieve what is authentic one needs to find one’s true uniqueness. This may not seem easy in our culture as we’ve been taught a lot about what we ‘should’ do and how we ‘should’ behave, but the hardest part about finding our uniqueness is making a commitment to change.
It is a well-known psychological premise that the actions of the wounded person trying to move from their current situation, are in themselves (typically) wounded actions. This can also be applied to large groups and societies as a whole. Our society has done a poor job of teaching sex so that it can be experienced and expressed in a healthy, respectful, individual way. Hence, swinging and sex parties were created to fulfil a need, and most Tantra in the Western world is sold as a ‘sex’ thing when it is actually more of a life model. This is not to say that these activities do not serve a purpose or are totally unhealthy. They have their place, yet a number people become just as unsatisfied with them as well. Fortunately we are now in an era where the groundwork of healing has begun, enough to develop somatic practices in a multitude of fields including psychology and sexuality.
The tools used by somatic sex educators to support people to achieve their authentic expression of sexuality are twofold. Firstly there are the somatic practices; breath, sound, touch, movement and awareness. By utilising these tools one can begin to listen to the inherent wisdom of the body and begin to celebrate the pleasure it can offer. The basic, and perhaps essential practice for reclaiming your body awareness is an ‘Orgasmic Yoga’ practice. There are many forms of Orgasmic Yoga practice which we offer through our Meetup group. If you are interested in body wisdom, we recommend you read seminal works by Wilhelm Reich, Alexander Lowen, or more recent works by Barnaby Barrett or Staci Haines.
The second tool is individual practice in group space. Why would anyone do this, and how could it improve my sexual satisfaction? By practicing individual practices in a group space, we begin to not only realise we are not alone in searching for a better experience and understanding of sex and sexuality, but we begin to experience ourselves in a different way. In group space we not only have permission to be sexual, but we are supported in being sexual. We can then allow ourselves to be supportive of others in their journey, and begin to move away from object-attraction (being attracted to another based on their looks or status etc), and begin to relate and interact as “people.”
Once we see each other as people we can begin to see and appreciate ourselves and others as unique individuals, having some things in common while at the same time appreciating diversity as a strength within a community. The binary shells of Female and Male fall away, as do labels such as ‘Gay’ or ‘Straight’ etc., leaving ‘people’ who can engage with each other freely, without guilt, shame or fear. Or in other words, real people meeting real people in genuine space.
Isn’t doing sexual things in a group space just for the exhibitionists or the perverts? Celebrating Eros works with eroticism rather than attraction. Eroticism and sex are not mutually inclusive. It is possible to experience one without the other, yet when combined with awareness and aliveness, the experience, we believe, is what most people are looking for as their preferred sexual experience! Once people have experienced practicing individual practice in a group setting they quickly lose the need to exhibit or perv. After all, these behaviours are often compensations expressed by individuals who themselves are longing for deeper human connection but have lacked the educational frame to express their sexuality in a consensual and respectful way.
Once people feel comfortable in group space there is then the opportunity to engage with other people erotically. Socially speaking, engaging in group eroticism makes much more sense than engaging in group sex (genital-based activities) as it is much safer, and can actually be likened to play. Good, wholesome, honest, and sexy play where all participants come away feeling enlivened, respected and honoured. Everything that happens is consensual, every person has the ability to ask for what they want and can say no to any request without fear of retribution. Saying no, and being able to negotiate (if desired) makes for a more authentic and enjoyable experience for all participants. Group interactions provided by Celebrating Eros are consensual, practiced with safe-sex protocols and have no genital-genital or mouth-genital activities. The latter activities are left for those who wish to practice outside our events. If you can, imagine combining the eroticism felt from authentic expression with the intimate sexual contact of a welcomed lover. Practicing eroticism in a group allows for the deep sexual satisfaction of pleasure combined with the lack of ‘need’ for sex to fulfil that desire.
Remember though, that to find your own uniqueness requires your commitment – to yourself. If you want something different in your life, you need to do something different. We are here for your journey.